I want to share something that’s not easy. Lately, I have let Satan whisper lies into my ear that have made me feel alone, insecure, and unloved.
It’s hard making friends in new places, and I struggle when I see others with friendships I don’t have. I long for close friendships. Between finishing a challenging book and going through a Bible study, I have been convicted that I could be a better friend and a blessing to people I interact with. This is where I let Satan influence my thoughts, by hearing a truth but then letting him use that truth to hurt me.
One morning, I was praying and crying to God because I felt especially lonely. I was listening to worship music, and as I was asking for God to help speak truth to me, the song “More” by Matthew West came on. I felt as though God was reminding me that I don’t need to turn to others but I need to turn to Him. Others will never fulfill my desire to be loved/liked, but He will. He loves me more than I can imagine and He will never let me go. Right after that song, as I was thanking God for His truth, the song “Whole” by Nicole Hendley came on and reminded me that I am not alone and I can come to God with my struggles.
Later that day, I was reading my Bible study and I was supposed to meditate onPsalm 84. Once again I felt like God was reminding me that my strength is in Him and that I can rest in Him. Wow! What a day!
I don’t know why I am always surprised that God listens to me and cares for me. I don’t know why it’s so much easier to let Satan speak lies to me than allow God to fill my heart with His truth. I don’t know why I let my own insecurities and pride stand in the way. But I am thankful for my God who is bigger than all of that and who is faithful, even when I am not. I know I’ll continue to struggle with my own sin, insecurities, fears, and doubts. But I can be encouraged to know that God knows all those and will speak truth – I just need to listen. I need to seek Him. I need to spend time with Him.
I share all this because I know I’m not alone. When we feel alone in our own insecurities, sins, fears, and doubts, we want to stay away from others. And I was ready to do that. I was ready to shut myself off from community because I was hurting. But God reminded me that Satan only wins when we let him. So I stand with others who are hurting. I stand with others who are happy. I stand because I don’t want others to feel like they are standing alone, so I stand with Jesus.
2 thoughts on “Insecurities, Fears, and Truth”
Thanks Gina for this reminder of God’s love and care for His children as I start my day this morning. I’m sorry that you have been feeling alone but you have expressed powerfully a struggle that attempts to confuse Christians as satan seeks to discourage us. I have experienced the feeling of loneliness while surrounded by people who I know deeply, and genuinely cared for me. What a victory for satan if he can convince us of this lie. I am thankful for your crying out to our Father for help, and for his sending songs and scripture to assure you at this time in your life. I think that missionaries would be especially vulnerable to satan’s attacks due to your situation of being a foreigner in a land. I am, and will continue to pray for you and give thanks for your courage to share this. I am sure you have blessed many souls this morning as we read this and are reminded of the destructive power of fear, doubt and insecurity. We are God’s children and recipients of his love, and his empowerment to live in this world that attempts to trick us and lead us down roads that will only discourage us. Thanks again Gina for your example of seeking God when satan speaking lies.
God bless, Harold
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So well written Gena and so true! Thanks for sharing!! Praying for you.