Good Questions to Ask Missionaries & TCKs

A regular part of our life as missionaries is returning to our passport country for home assignment (previously known as “furlough”). This will be our first time back to America since the summer of 2024 (two full years) and our sixth such trip since we moved to Uganda in January 2016. Like many other missionaries, our home assignment is filled with activity – visiting churches and supporters to report on our work, additional fundraising, spending time with family and friends, and attempting to recharge our hearts and minds. These trips help us stay in touch with the people who enable us to do our mission and provide a brief respite from the stresses and strains of everyday life in a (beloved) foreign culture.

But these trips also come with their own stressors: It means living out of a suitcase for a couple of months and staying in the homes of other people; It means being on our best behavior as the spotlight is shown on us whenever we arrive at supporting churches; It means trying to compact our whole life, heart, and ministry into two, five, or ten minute sound bites to take advantage of the opportunity we have to tell others the stories that give the ministry richness and meaning. It means many miles spent together in a borrowed vehicle as our family travels from one location to another. It means trying to split our time between family members who want to see us and the work we need to do while in America. It means still maintaining a spiritual “presence” and leadership role in Uganda while also preaching, sharing, and living in churches across several states.

As another missionary states: “We’ve been told that Home Assignment is meant for rest. We’ve also been told it’s meant for fundraising. And for reconnecting with family. And for sharing stories and photos at supporting churches. And for finding new people who might be interested in our ministry. And for reflection and prayer and rejuvenating ourselves before diving in again on the mission field. And…and…and…” (Click THIS BLOG for the full story.)

For us…we are blessed! We are blessed because our hosts, supporters, and meetings are with dear friends and loved ones. God blessed us with the honor of serving with partners who know and love us, so our time is more relational than many other missionaries we know. But it’s still hard to be away from home while also visiting “home;” and with several well-meaning people assuming we are enjoying an extended vacation stateside.

If you want a glimpse into our life of two very different homes (while not feeling 100% at home in either of them), here is a blog post about the Life Cycle of a Home Assignment. It’s not quite as simple as getting on a plane and eating BBQ and drinking Dr Pepper! =)

We know that most people we meet with while in America at the various stops along the way have a genuine desire to care for us and love us well, but many times they aren’t sure what to say or ask to show the depth of their compassion and love for our family. We want to give you a little cheat sheet of questions to ask when you see us:

  • What is one thing you miss about Uganda while you are in America?
  • What was the first thing you did when you got to America?
  • What is one thing you are looking forward to about your visits in America?
  • What’s one thing you are looking forward to about going back to Uganda?
  • What has been one hard thing in ministry about this past year? In life?
  • What are you doing to care for yourselves, your marriage, your daughter, and your family?
  • What is something you wish Americans knew about the Church and people you work with in Uganda?
  • What do you think the next year holds in store for the ministry – both struggles and strengths?
  • Can we take you out to lunch? =)
  • Ask the unspiritual questions: Can you watch the Cowboys from Uganda? What do you like to do for fun and to relax? What shows are you watching? How is the political situation in America affecting life in Uganda? What are some of the foods you miss while in Uganda? We love talking about all the different elements to our life: big and small; light and heavy.

Warning: Don’t ask these questions if you aren’t prepared to engage! We want to connect (and reconnect), but we also struggle with the art of small-talk and often jump in too deep, too quickly. You’ve been warned!

“In order for missionaries to be real, churches need to allow them to be fully human. Give missionaries permission to experience struggles. (You’re supporting real people who are just as susceptible to sin and weakness as anyone else.) Out of relationship, ask personal questions with loving intentions. Offer a safe place in which they can voice their failures and find compassionate help. When they visit you with their MKs, demand nothing from the children except that they be children accompanying Mom and Dad. Let the family decide how much they’ll be involved.” From Taking the Hypocrisy Out of Home Assignments on A Life Overseas blog.

And since most of you love our daughter more than us, here is a blog post about some good questions you can ask a TCK when you see them. These questions help to relate to her, hear her, and try to understand her life experience.

Please know that we are excited to see YOU! And we want to open up about our lives, ministry, and family. We don’t always assume that people want to hear the silly, painful, or even deep stories, but if you do…then ask and be prepared. One missionary wrote: “The worst things to say to a visiting missionary is Let me know how I can help.” It may be well intentioned but we aren’t exactly sure how to respond to that. But when people genuinely engage, ask questions, care, show love and interest, invite us to specific things, etc. then we know what Paul means when he says in Philemon 1:7, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people”

For Further Reading:
Back in 2017, in preparation for our very FIRST home assignment, Gina wrote THIS BLOG, which you might enjoy re-reading.
Another missionary family wrote THIS BLOG and it captures many of the aspects to Home Assignment.

Goals & Plans for 2026

We are praying BIG THINGS for 2026. The first BIG thing we are praying and planning for is the Leadership Team. Last year, we started meeting regularly with leaders, who have been discipled and moved closely with over the past decade, to involve them in decisions, planning, discerning, and guiding the overall ministry. These are leaders who have traveled around with us to visit churches near and far, so they have a feel for the needs of leaders from all over Uganda. They are also men and women who we’ve seen fruit of spiritual maturity in their lives – and seen them actively making disciples – so they are able to think of Godly solutions in difficult circumstances. This year, our plan is to empower them more and more as the year goes by, so that their voices grow and their impact deepens. We believe this kind of leadership team is vital to the future of the mission work here in Uganda.

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Recap 2025 – Ups, Downs, and In-Betweens

Another year of ministry in Uganda has come and (too quickly) gone by. This has been YEAR 10 for our family serving in Uganda, and each year seems to get busier and go by faster. Here are a few highlights of the year in ministry:

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Boys Becoming Men Through Disciplemaking

Recently I read that “The church doesn’t just exist to make disciples. We also exist to bring those disciples to maturity” (Deeper Walk by Marcus Warner). This concept has been a driving force for us as a mission for more than a decade, and has been at the heart of our family’s ministry since we began. We were never called by Jesus to merely make converts, but rather to disciple people into maturity…mature disciples was Jesus’ goal, and it continues to be our goal as His Church.

Earlier this year, me and Peter (a coworker at the Mbale Mission) decided that something MORE was needed to help the young men at the city church grow into deeper maturity in their faith. So we prayed for the young men and decided to invite them into a weekly disciplemaking group. From that first meeting, we have been open with them about the serious commitment that spiritual growth requires of each of us, and that begins with making the time and opportunity a priority: meeting at 8am on Sunday morning for late-teen and twenty-something guys is NOT easy to do in any culture. But that’s the standard we set before them!

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Relationship, NOT a Class

Jesus was a disciplemaker! Sure, He was a teacher, healer, miracle worker, resurrecter, rebel-rouser, and troublemaker, too. But first and foremost, when you comb through the pages which describe Jesus’ life, He was a disciplemaker. He was a RELATIONAL disciplemaker.

Jesus spent the majority of His time in ministry, for three years, creating, strengthening, and intentionally utilizing relationships in order to make disciples who will, eventually, make disciples. He would preach and teach in synagogues and hillsides, but in-between formal teaching times he would go to weddings, have meals, travel by foot, take boat rides, and many other things of everyday life. It is in these times that we see Jesus make use of His greatest tool to make disciplemakers – intentional relationships. He took full advantage of these times to share truths about God’s Kingdom, God’s nature, the Holy Spirit, His coming crucifixion and resurrection, Kingdom priorities, and so much more.

As people and leaders who follow Jesus, we look at His way of doing ministry. I heard once, “If you want to see the teachings of Jesus with the results of Jesus, then you better use the methods of Jesus.” So as disciplemakers in our homes, communities, and Uganda, we strive to focus our energy on intentional disciplemaking relationships.

What’s the difference between teaching a class and relational disciplemaking?

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It’s Time to Grow Up!

That was the theme at the Leaders’ Conference 2025. We gathered with 150 church leaders from 68 churches from across Eastern Uganda to focus on what God has in store and in mind for us as leaders. And we chose to focus on Ephesians 4…and boy, did it hit home!

Ephesians 4 is such a powerful chapter where Paul is talking with this group of leaders and a church that he has a close, personal relationship (as we see in Acts 20). These are people whom he has poured out his heart, mind, and life. He begins the book of Ephesians giving God glory and thanks for all the growth and faith of the Ephesian church: “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.” (Ephesians 1:15-16) Paul is encouraged by their faith, but he still wants to urge them – to push them – into something deeper and more mature. He begins from chapter 1 praying that they “may know him better” (1:17) and that God will strengthen them to “have power to grasp” the immeasurable love of God (3:18) in order that they “may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (3:19). Paul is praying some POWERFUL prayers for his friends in Ephesus.

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Highs & Lows of Mission Work

I remember when I used to play high school football in Texas. Every Saturday I was a different person because every Friday held its own highs and lows. Many times, my family didn’t want to spend time with me the Saturday after a Friday night loss because I was a different person. It’s silly now, but they were right: my identity was wrapped up in what happened in the Friday night lights, so the high or low greatly impacted my Saturday (and often Sundays).

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Focused in 2025

This year is flying by already…but not without some big plans and some big goals for the Mission here in Mbale. In December, we reflected on what God had been doing through and in the Mbale Mission in 2024 (Read HERE if you missed it). We are excited about what is ahead in our 10th year working with church leaders in Uganda. Instead of breaking down the nitty-gritty, I want to share with you the BIG things that are going on here:

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Looking Back at What God Has Done in 2024

Garth Brooks is one of my favorite all-time musical artists. Sure, some can say that he ruined country music, but it can also be said that he SAVED country music. And one of my favorite songs is “The Dance.”

“Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared beneath the stars above. For a moment all the world was right. But how could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye…”

No one is saying goodbye but I love the way he looks back on an experience with such love and passion, knowing that the joy of that dance was worth the pain and heartache. And in some ways, that’s how I feel about looking back at 2024.

The year was too busy…not in a healthy way or a way to celebrate, but in a way that could have really beaten us down. And that’s something we have to address in 2025. But at the same time, 2024 was FULL of amazing God moments, both in family and in ministry. Here’s to “looking back…”

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Tent Making in Uganda

Have you ever thought about the idea of a financially sustainable mission work? I sure have. That’s the dream, right? A mission work that has the capacity to sustain itself financially and continue furthering the Gospel of Jesus without the need for ongoing foreign funds…But is it possible?

That’s the question we are wrestling with as a mission team. Not only do we believe it is possible, but we actually believe it is within reach. One of our major priorities is to be able to sustain the mission work in Mbale, Uganda by using what has already been given to create further ongoing funds for the ministry, plus initial support from partners. And the main priority in this endeavor is to build an apartment building that will provide needed middle class housing in the growing city of Mbale in a convenient location, while giving the mission ongoing funding from right here in Mbale. It may not be 100% sustainable from within (yet), but to be able to provide income that will go directly into the ministry is certainly possible!

The idea of ministry (or mission work) being supported by others is the norm in the modern world, and has been for generations. Truth be told, it has been common since the FIRST missionary was sent: Jesus. When the Father sent Jesus to Earth “to seek and save the lost”, he was supported by several disciples, mostly women. We see this very clearly in Luke 8:1-3 where it says, “They provided financial support for Jesus and his disciples.” Though Jesus did not collect money when He spoke, He also wasn’t 100% self-supporting…he had help from His followers.

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