A regular part of our life as missionaries is returning to our passport country for home assignment (previously known as “furlough”). This will be our first time back to America since the summer of 2024 (two full years) and our sixth such trip since we moved to Uganda in January 2016. Like many other missionaries, our home assignment is filled with activity – visiting churches and supporters to report on our work, additional fundraising, spending time with family and friends, and attempting to recharge our hearts and minds. These trips help us stay in touch with the people who enable us to do our mission and provide a brief respite from the stresses and strains of everyday life in a (beloved) foreign culture.

But these trips also come with their own stressors: It means living out of a suitcase for a couple of months and staying in the homes of other people; It means being on our best behavior as the spotlight is shown on us whenever we arrive at supporting churches; It means trying to compact our whole life, heart, and ministry into two, five, or ten minute sound bites to take advantage of the opportunity we have to tell others the stories that give the ministry richness and meaning. It means many miles spent together in a borrowed vehicle as our family travels from one location to another. It means trying to split our time between family members who want to see us and the work we need to do while in America. It means still maintaining a spiritual “presence” and leadership role in Uganda while also preaching, sharing, and living in churches across several states.

As another missionary states: “We’ve been told that Home Assignment is meant for rest. We’ve also been told it’s meant for fundraising. And for reconnecting with family. And for sharing stories and photos at supporting churches. And for finding new people who might be interested in our ministry. And for reflection and prayer and rejuvenating ourselves before diving in again on the mission field. And…and…and…” (Click THIS BLOG for the full story.)

For us…we are blessed! We are blessed because our hosts, supporters, and meetings are with dear friends and loved ones. God blessed us with the honor of serving with partners who know and love us, so our time is more relational than many other missionaries we know. But it’s still hard to be away from home while also visiting “home;” and with several well-meaning people assuming we are enjoying an extended vacation stateside.

If you want a glimpse into our life of two very different homes (while not feeling 100% at home in either of them), here is a blog post about the Life Cycle of a Home Assignment. It’s not quite as simple as getting on a plane and eating BBQ and drinking Dr Pepper! =)

We know that most people we meet with while in America at the various stops along the way have a genuine desire to care for us and love us well, but many times they aren’t sure what to say or ask to show the depth of their compassion and love for our family. We want to give you a little cheat sheet of questions to ask when you see us:

• What is one thing you miss about Uganda while you are in America?
• What was the first thing you did when you got to America?
• What is one thing you are looking forward to about your visits in America?
• What’s one thing you are looking forward to about going back to Uganda?
• What has been one hard thing in ministry about this past year? In life?
• What are you doing to care for yourselves, your marriage, your daughter, and your family?
• What is something you wish Americans knew about the Church and people you work with in Uganda?
• What do you think the next year holds in store for the ministry – both struggles and strengths?
• Can we take you out to lunch? =)
• Ask the unspiritual questions: Can you watch the Cowboys from Uganda? What do you like to do for fun and to relax? What shows are you watching? How is the political situation in America affecting life in Uganda? What are some of the foods you miss while in Uganda? We love talking about all the different elements to our life: big and small; light and heavy.

Warning: Don’t ask these questions if you aren’t prepared to engage! We want to connect (and reconnect), but we also struggle with the art of small-talk and often jump in too deep, too quickly. You’ve been warned!

“In order for missionaries to be real, churches need to allow them to be fully human. Give missionaries permission to experience struggles. (You’re supporting real people who are just as susceptible to sin and weakness as anyone else.) Out of relationship, ask personal questions with loving intentions. Offer a safe place in which they can voice their failures and find compassionate help. When they visit you with their MKs, demand nothing from the children except that they be children accompanying Mom and Dad. Let the family decide how much they’ll be involved.” From Taking the Hypocrisy Out of Home Assignments on A Life Overseas blog.

And since most of you love our daughter more than us, here is a blog post about some good questions you can ask a TCK when you see them. These questions help to relate to her, hear her, and try to understand her life experience.

10 Questions Missionary Kids Would Love to be Asked

Please know that we are excited to see YOU! And we want to open up about our lives, ministry, and family. We don’t always assume that people want to hear the silly, painful, or even deep stories, but if you do…then ask and be prepared. One missionary wrote: “The worst things to say to a visiting missionary is Let me know how I can help.” It may be well intentioned but we aren’t exactly sure how to respond to that. But when people genuinely engage, ask questions, care, show love and interest, invite us to specific things, etc. then we know what Paul means when he says in Philemon 1:7, “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people”

For Further Reading:
Back in 2017, in preparation for our very FIRST home assignment, Gina wrote THIS BLOG, which you might enjoy re-reading.
Another missionary family wrote THIS BLOG and it captures many of the aspects to Home Assignment.

For those who don’t know, a Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. A TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures they experience while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into a TCK life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of a similar background. A Missionary Kid (MK) is a subset of TCK – they are born or raised abroad, and have both the privilege and the challenge of growing up in their family’s place of ministry. Adalyn is an MK. She has spent 10 years in Uganda. She came to Uganda as a toddler and is now a teenager. She is part American, part Ugandan, with several of other cultures that have influenced her since living in an international community.

A TCK/MK has some unique needs. Here are some ways to pray for Adalyn as she continue to grow into the woman God has created her to be…

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