I want to share something that’s not easy. Lately, I have let Satan whisper lies into my ear that have made me feel alone, insecure, and unloved.
It’s hard making friends in new places, and I struggle when I see others with friendships I don’t have. I long for close friendships. Between finishing a challenging book and going through a Bible study, I have been convicted that I could be a better friend and a blessing to people I interact with. This is where I let Satan influence my thoughts, by hearing a truth but then letting him use that truth to hurt me.
One morning, I was praying and crying to God because I felt especially lonely. I was listening to worship music, and as I was asking for God to help speak truth to me, the song “More” by Matthew West came on. I felt as though God was reminding me that I don’t need to turn to others but I need to turn to Him. Others will never fulfill my desire to be loved/liked, but He will. He loves me more than I can imagine and He will never let me go. Right after that song, as I was thanking God for His truth, the song “Whole” by Nicole Hendley came on and reminded me that I am not alone and I can come to God with my struggles.
Later that day, I was reading my Bible study and I was supposed to meditate onPsalm 84. Once again I felt like God was reminding me that my strength is in Him and that I can rest in Him. Wow! What a day!
I don’t know why I am always surprised that God listens to me and cares for me. I don’t know why it’s so much easier to let Satan speak lies to me than allow God to fill my heart with His truth. I don’t know why I let my own insecurities and pride stand in the way. But I am thankful for my God who is bigger than all of that and who is faithful, even when I am not. I know I’ll continue to struggle with my own sin, insecurities, fears, and doubts. But I can be encouraged to know that God knows all those and will speak truth – I just need to listen. I need to seek Him. I need to spend time with Him.
I share all this because I know I’m not alone. When we feel alone in our own insecurities, sins, fears, and doubts, we want to stay away from others. And I was ready to do that. I was ready to shut myself off from community because I was hurting. But God reminded me that Satan only wins when we let him. So I stand with others who are hurting. I stand with others who are happy. I stand because I don’t want others to feel like they are standing alone, so I stand with Jesus.