I fail… but it’s okay

10885449_10152901588298068_494170759727048095_nI don’t know about you but there are times as a mom of a toddler that I feel like I’ve failed. Unfortunately, more times than I want to admit. I only have one child, a little girl, but she’s enough. Leland and I were married 8 years before Adalyn was born so we remember very clearly what life was like before we had a kid. We remember how easy it was to go out on a date, to meet friends on a whim, to get ready in the morning, to run errands whenever we wanted, to live life fairly uncomplicated. And then we had Adalyn… And while we absolutely adore her, life is different and life is sometimes hard.

No doubt that we experienced hard stuff as a couple but this is a new hard. A hard that we have to figure out on a daily basis. A hard that even though we talked about being parents and expectations, things change…on a daily basis. A hard that just when you think you’ve figured it out, everything changes…on a daily basis. It’s crazy to see how hard it is but still look at our daughter with so much love and affection. She is funny,Throwing a fit - June 2014 cute, strong, playful, adventurous and stubborn. She is beautiful and yet, in the moments of fits (which happen daily), I am at a loss as to who this demon child is. Sometimes I am understanding and realize I expect too much or that she’s figuring out emotions for the first time or it was a miscommunication that caused the chaos. But sometimes, I just fail. I lose patience, I get frustrated, I panic, I fear being judged and I cry because I have no idea what to do.

So for all those moms and dads out there who have felt judged… I’m sorry! You’re doing okay and its normal to feel all sorts of emotions every day. Do what you need to for your own sanity and what’s best for your family. People are more understanding than you realize, and if they aren’t, they’re not worth worrying about anyway. Kids are hard, and everyone who has had them should IMG_3889remember that. On my good days, I remember this. On my bad days, I cry because I feel like I failed. But at the end of the day, I get Adalyn ready for bed, we read a book together, we snuggle, we give hugs and kisses, we say “I love you”, I say a blessing over her, and all is forgotten of the craziness of the day. So, I’d much rather focus on the good days because there are so many more moments of joy in parenting than frustration.

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