As a family, we are very aware the impact living overseas in another culture has on each of us, our family, and our daughter, Adalyn. Some of our fears and stress come from worrying about what that impact will have on her future education, relationships, and life. This leads us to pray A LOT, and trust that God will continue to be faithful in the areas we screw up.

I recently asked Adalyn some questions about her worldview and life as a TCK. Here are some important facts about our TCK, from her perspective, along with some general perspectives of TCK life. Please continue to be praying for Adalyn! She needs to know she is loved and that she belongs, even when she is different; and be real with her, because she desperately needs that.

What does it mean to “live in the in-between”? “It means that I’m both American and Ugandan. I have family that lives in the States, and I have close friends that live here with me. I know both cultures and have lived in both places, but they still sometimes seem foreign to me.”

With connections to more than one “home” (place/culture), most of the people TCKs interact with know only one side of them – For Adalyn, it’s either Uganda or America. Unless someone visits her in Uganda, they can’t understand her life here; even if she tries to tell you about it. But her friends here in Uganda also don’t understand her relationships and family in America. TCKs learn to turn on and off languages and behaviors as they move from one setting to another, not something most people even think about.

“TCKs often feel they will never be known completely; at best they are known slightly by people all over the world. Each person only knows tiny snapshots of parts of their lives.”

— TCK quoted in the book, Misunderstood by Tanya Crossman

How does it make you feel when someone wants to learn about your life, get to know you, or comes to visit? “It makes me feel great to know that someone other than my immediate family cares about my life and what I do here. It also makes it easier to talk about things here because they have images from their visit, and not just relying on my words to describe life. I am so thankful that my grandparents have been to Uganda – it is much easier to talk to them about life because they know what I am talking about.”

A great way to connect and care for TCKs is to read some TCK literature to start to get an idea of what has shaped their worldview. There is no one-size-fits-all explanation of how every TCK has felt and who they will become, but resources can give you a starting point to try to understand them and they can give you ideas of questions to ask to open up different conversations. But they are just like everyone else – they want to be known and loved.

What are some things that give you stress or make you feel pressure? “Definitely the thought of leaving or moving away from Uganda stresses me out and I don’t ever want to leave. This is the only home I’ve ever really known, so it’s scary to think of moving away from my life here. Friends are often moving away, and sometimes my friend dynamics get weird because of the transition and moves. I miss my family when I’m in Uganda, and I miss my friends when I’m in America.”

Unfortunately, TCKs carry a pressure that wouldn’t necessarily be there if they never left their passport country / culture. These pressures range from visiting their home culture to living in a culture that isn’t their own. Based on a recent TCK survey through TCK Training:

• 69% of TCKs feel pressure to “perform” while visiting passport country.
• 27% of TCKs said that as children they felt “anxiety as a result of duties assigned to them” (i.e. tour guide, translator).
• 52% of TCKs experience the continual loss of friends or family moving away.
• 44% of TCKs have feelings of not belonging.

While these statistics are real experiences and need to be realized, TCKs also have a better understanding of being citizens of heaven and expatriates on this earth. Because TCKs have many different “homes” on earth, and like all of us, have the need to belong, they understand better than most about belonging to Jesus and being part of a Kingdom family, not just an earthly family. Here’s more about this topic here.

Thank you for loving our family and our TCK well. Thank you for trying to learn more about Adalyn’s experience and life here in Uganda. We do feel your love and care for us, and Adalyn knows she is loved by people from all over the world.