I read a devotional that hit me hard, and I want to share it with you as a way to commiserate with you about the Truth and the challenge in it…
“The issue is not that we can’t obey God – that we can’t forgive that parent who hurt us so deeply, that we can’t love that colleague at work, that we can’t give thanks in the midst of the storm, or that we can’t be content with our one-bedroom apartment. The real issue is that we won’t forgive, we are unwilling to love, and we refuse to give thanks and to be content with what God has provided. Obedience is a choice made in dependence on the supernatural power of God. By the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, we can choose to forgive, choose to let Him love others through us, choose to give thanks in every circumstance and choose to be content.”
Eek! My life is not about what I want or how I feel, but how I reflect God to others. And so many more times than I’d like to admit, I focus on my own wants and try to disguise them as “needs.” I don’t want to do something so I pretend that I didn’t hear it. Or worse, I make excuses about why I shouldn’t do it. I’m not sharing this to make anyone feel guilty, and I know God doesn’t use guilt to get us to do His will. It’s a gentle reminder that faith is not just saying “yes” in the big moments, but faith is about being obedient in the tedious, tough as can be, messy details of each day.
In the weird times of NOW, there are more unknowns than knowns. There are more “what ifs” than my brain can handle. As I take each step without knowing what lies ahead, God reminds me that this is His purpose. I am not supposed to know everything, plan everything, control everything…I am simply supposed to trust in His plans and know that He is with me and will guide me. Turns out that’s really hard! I like to plan, to know what to expect, to control. But I am called to obey and that’s not as easy as it sounds.
So when I fail, it’s admitting my mistakes of the day, praying to do better tomorrow, and being thankful for the gift of each day that God has granted me.