“Be Present. Wherever you are, be all there.”
I have had more truths revealed to me in these past 2 years than I have probably had in my whole life. God has been faithful in this journey and He continues to mold me to be more like Him, or at least I hope there’s positive change.
Lately, I have been wrestling with the idea of striving. My whole life, I’ve been a striver: someone who always has to be doing something, someone who needs to excel, a perfectionist, a little OCD…in school, in work, in my marriage, and in my parenting, I strived to be good. And there’s nothing wrong with striving to be good at something. But I’ve discovered my identity was wrapped up in striving. I found myself looking to what I could be doing rather than being present in what I’m doing right now.
While living in Uganda, I have realized that my life looks differently than what I anticipated. And not the everyday differences, but my role here and where I find validation. I knew at first my focus would be on my family and mentoring local university students. Once Adalyn began school, I would seek more opportunities to do women’s ministry. And while I have now started a women’s discipleship cohort of Ugandan women, the reality is that my ministry will always look different. I am ministering to those around me, wherever I am. It may not be a formal ministry, but it is a ministry of relationships with Ugandans and missionaries.
Maybe I’m the only one, but I often forget the important reality that my ministry is every day and with every one. I look to what I could be doing instead of being present. So my challenge for myself and for you: Be Present!
“…What a loss – for me, for my family, for our community, for all the joy and laughter and silliness we missed out on because I was busy being busy. These are the hardest changes I’ve made in a long time. And they’re the most valuable. I’m never going back there. I’m done with that kind of responsible. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and look back and realize that the best thing about me was that I was organized, that I executed well, that I ran a tight ship, that I never missed a detail…” – Present Over Perfect, by Shauna Niequist